the processThe process starts!They come. They rise. They clobber.Thoughts..these are twisted vines spreading everywhere possible over me.The process ends!I am buried deep inside the darkness of these vines losing my being.
one thingOne thing that has always inspired me with its beauty..one thing which brings a smile to my face whenever i think of it..one thing which has transition written all over it..one thing which is my favorite colors - orange and yellow ..one thing which is warm as a loving hug and cold as a conflict..
banging on the doorToday i feel like i have had a free fall.and i don't like this sinking feeling i get falling down because i don't know where i am going to land.it might be dark in the woods with slimey creatures around.it might me in the water which i am afraid would just engulf me and remove my existence.whom to trust now?i don't know whom to tell what i feel? i know this sensation.it is in my heart.and it is definitely not love.and i know its not hate.its FEAR.its the fear of the unknown.the wrong steps that i might take.the unknown people i might walk with.fear of the darkness that i might enter.where to find the light?i see myself standing outside in the rain.yes i can see my home.i am banging at the door.i am banging on the walls.but i am unable to get through.its like nobody sees me standing outside getting drenched in this cold cruel rain.its like the stares that i get are the questions at me that where is my home and who am i ? its like mouths whispering shameless things and giving impish sm
entwinedWhat is the difference between me and youor you and me??is there any by the way?i feel it is only in our bodies.we are different bodies but our source is the same.the same spirit.have you ever wondered about this possibility or do you only care about the things that you percieve?you see the world around you the way you have been taught.you have never tried to unlearn anything to have a chance to see the truth that surrounds you.believe me what you see is not even close to reality.so it does not matter that our bodies are not in touch. dont care just because our voices cannot be heard by eachother.we cannot see each other.but our souls are entwined.and just for once if you could forget the bodies,these physical appearances.if you could see through your body and touch your spirit,you would realise that you are touching me!!
completeMusic makes me happy.It makes me sing and my feet swing.Food keeps my tummy full.I don't live to eat but still.Love provides me with warmth.Here,where resides my heart.Misery makes me miserable.Tears!! That is all i can tell.Sun gives me energy.It brings nostalgia to me.But,what makes me completeis bits and pieces of everything.Without them I wouldnt be living!!
Only LoveLost in her sorrows,tortured by the years of pain,cursing existence and praying for release,all her efforts were in vain.Drenched in her bloodher body refused to leave,tried all she could to escape,but her fate she couldnt decieve.Such an emptiness inside,it echoed her strife,alone she was left struggling,noone to comfort her life.Then the moment came,it altered her everything,An angel was to be seen,divine light shining through His wings.He took her in His arms,picked out all the thorns.She knew it was a blessing for a lifetime of love,no more misery....only LOVE
I'd Rather Be DeadYou're always asking me if I had anything worth dying for.I'll pose the opposite to you and ask you this:"Why is it that you find life to be worth living?"Is it so interesting to go through each day feeling anxious?To the point that you feel nauseated enough to collapse.Is it so joyous to spend each night staring at a blank ceiling,Hearing the clock tick on toward morning,And yet you lie awake.Tired, but awake, emotionless, but awake...Do you truly get up each day, facing it with optimism.Or do you look at the news and the state of the world,And genuinely fear for your safety?Now, if it were me that you had asked my dear,I'd tell you quite honestly: That I'd rather be dead.At least I would not have to hear the white lie inside my head.That tomorrow will bring me a 'better' day...But of course, you are welcome to believe that.
Stripping MeYou may take what you want from me,Be it my pride or dignity.You may throw insults at me,And burn the shredded pieces of my sanity.You may belittle me, as much as you want,If only to make your meager life worth living.---But even if you do all that...---No one will protect you when I pull you into the dark.No one will try to search for you, as my leather ropes tie you down.No one will hear your screams as metallic screws drive into your face,Etching an eternal smile, since you'll never leave this place..."Now then, my dear sweet James, shall we play our favourite game?"
You are someone's reason to liveShe had skin like a cactus-believing shecould only hurtanyone who gottoo close,forgetting thatinside,she held whatpeople neededmost.
collisionsi.it is dark, unfamiliar,but your fingers seek out his,and you know thenthat you are at homein his harmonyeven if justfor now.ii.hold him;he's incendiary, sure.a veritable (volatile)molotov cocktail ofnot-okaywatch as he emerges,ashen-limbed from a cocoon of youto entwine with the threadsthat hold you sane.iii.smoldering indolentcoal-flicker eyelidswant nothing more thanto hiss and steam;than to coolin your stillnessiv.redolent of broken-record risk-taking chances untilthere's nothing leftbut scratches and glitches in the wordworki mean woodwork,i mean, skin.but oh god, he loves youjust like this,like that,this way.v.this is a choice:you may destroy him,extinguish his flamesand half-bury him inthe ashy remnantsof his own conflagration but it's an impotent powerthat is granted, not taken.
i'd haunt you if you'd like.my hands are paralyzed and you're waiting for me to touch your face,but that doesn't really matter because i'd rather touch your souland if you close your eyes long enough i'll read you poetry as we lay atop the monkeybarsin this old and rusted parkyou can pretend to know the constellations and point them out to me and i'll tell you they're all beautiful, but nothing compared to youif i'm lucky you'll blush and laugh at me,tell me i say the dumbest things but deep down it'll register in your soul just how much i love youand i know they say you can only save yourself, but darling i swear if you'll just have the slightest bit of faith i'll save the fuck out of you or i'll destroy myself trying,because i honestly can't think of any other purpose for my lifeor what smidge of it i've been able to hold on to.
Hopeful HeartThe sky is pitch blackAnd so is my heartAfter all the painI went throughAfter all the effortFor a lost causeSo I look upLooking for a starA ray of lightTo guide me awayAway from this darkness inside my heart
i want to be wholeI am pale and to myself I am unkind.God! I want to fly away leaving this sorrow behind.Or may be burn it forever and throw it's ashes in the running water.No comparisons with anyone and no lack... I just want to be whole.