the processThe process starts!They come. They rise. They clobber.Thoughts..these are twisted vines spreading everywhere possible over me.The process ends!I am buried deep inside the darkness of these vines losing my being.
one thingOne thing that has always inspired me with its beauty..one thing which brings a smile to my face whenever i think of it..one thing which has transition written all over it..one thing which is my favorite colors - orange and yellow ..one thing which is warm as a loving hug and cold as a conflict..
banging on the doorToday i feel like i have had a free fall.and i don't like this sinking feeling i get falling down because i don't know where i am going to land.it might be dark in the woods with slimey creatures around.it might me in the water which i am afraid would just engulf me and remove my existence.whom to trust now?i don't know whom to tell what i feel? i know this sensation.it is in my heart.and it is definitely not love.and i know its not hate.its FEAR.its the fear of the unknown.the wrong steps that i might take.the unknown people i might walk with.fear of the darkness that i might enter.where to find the light?i see myself standing outside in the rain.yes i can see my home.i am banging at the door.i am banging on the walls.but i am unable to get through.its like nobody sees me standing outside getting drenched in this cold cruel rain.its like the stares that i get are the questions at me that where is my home and who am i ? its like mouths whispering shameless things and giving impish sm
entwinedWhat is the difference between me and youor you and me??is there any by the way?i feel it is only in our bodies.we are different bodies but our source is the same.the same spirit.have you ever wondered about this possibility or do you only care about the things that you percieve?you see the world around you the way you have been taught.you have never tried to unlearn anything to have a chance to see the truth that surrounds you.believe me what you see is not even close to reality.so it does not matter that our bodies are not in touch. dont care just because our voices cannot be heard by eachother.we cannot see each other.but our souls are entwined.and just for once if you could forget the bodies,these physical appearances.if you could see through your body and touch your spirit,you would realise that you are touching me!!
completeMusic makes me happy.It makes me sing and my feet swing.Food keeps my tummy full.I don't live to eat but still.Love provides me with warmth.Here,where resides my heart.Misery makes me miserable.Tears!! That is all i can tell.Sun gives me energy.It brings nostalgia to me.But,what makes me completeis bits and pieces of everything.Without them I wouldnt be living!!
Only LoveLost in her sorrows,tortured by the years of pain,cursing existence and praying for release,all her efforts were in vain.Drenched in her bloodher body refused to leave,tried all she could to escape,but her fate she couldnt decieve.Such an emptiness inside,it echoed her strife,alone she was left struggling,noone to comfort her life.Then the moment came,it altered her everything,An angel was to be seen,divine light shining through His wings.He took her in His arms,picked out all the thorns.She knew it was a blessing for a lifetime of love,no more misery....only LOVE
I'd Rather Be DeadYou're always asking me if I had anything worth dying for.I'll pose the opposite to you and ask you this:"Why is it that you find life to be worth living?"Is it so interesting to go through each day feeling anxious?To the point that you feel nauseated enough to collapse.Is it so joyous to spend each night staring at a blank ceiling,Hearing the clock tick on toward morning,And yet you lie awake.Tired, but awake, emotionless, but awake...Do you truly get up each day, facing it with optimism.Or do you look at the news and the state of the world,And genuinely fear for your safety?Now, if it were me that you had asked my dear,I'd tell you quite honestly: That I'd rather be dead.At least I would not have to hear the white lie inside my head.That tomorrow will bring me a 'better' day...But of course, you are welcome to believe that.
Bully You're ugly.You're stupid.You'll never amount to anything.No one will ever like you.If you think he'll stay, you're mistaken.You have no friends.People hate you.You are a freak.You have no place here.You are nothing more than a coward whois too afraid to step outside half the time.Your face is like something from a horror movie.No one will ever truly fall in love with you.Guys want girls that are beautiful and face it,you are considered everything but that.Hide behind your hair dye because you want tofeign like you don't care.But inside the cruel eyes of others burn holes intoyour soul.You will never amount to anything.The only thing you will ever be good foris cleaning up dog shit.You will never be good enough.Why bother even dreaming?How can you consider the possibility of lovewhen everything you do, the way you look, walk,talk, move, think, can only ever be seen asugly.Not only is the outside hideous;the inside is no better.Why do you think you've
Stripping MeYou may take what you want from me,Be it my pride or dignity.You may throw insults at me,And burn the shredded pieces of my sanity.You may belittle me, as much as you want,If only to make your meager life worth living.---But even if you do all that...---No one will protect you when I pull you into the dark.No one will try to search for you, as my leather ropes tie you down.No one will hear your screams as metallic screws drive into your face,Etching an eternal smile, since you'll never leave this place..."Now then, my dear sweet James, shall we play our favourite game?"
Past Tense BluesWasesAre painful,So are weres;And it's the becausesThat make them feelThat much worse.
We Only Live To DieThis is what we live for—these whispers on our lipsThe drying bits of blood on our paper-cut fingertipsOpening the letters that we left our future selvesA bittersweet reminder of those storybooks on the shelvesThis is what we live for – this emotion in our soulsThe torture and the bittersweet moments of lost controlBiting cracked lips with the dirt beneath our nailsThese moments of imperfection as our trains of thought derailThis is what we live for – shutting doors and opening eyesSmiling for a moment, before the tears reveal our liesThis is what we live for, this reality, this life…This is what we live for,As we only liveTo die.
You're Going to be Okay.It’s not your fault.It’s not what you deserve.Don’t think that way,Because one day,This won’t matter anyways.Keep your head held high for now,I know it hurts,Words can feel suffocating.As you feel like your lungs are collapsing,Under the weight of the pain,In your chest.I know it stings,And it seems like it takes forever for the bell to ring.As you count down the hours.But it doesn’t matter.When you just go home,To sit in your room alone.Because words unlike bruises don’t go away.Once they are said they are here to stay.And silence is excruciating.But being in a crowd of violent stares,Is no better.So where do you go?Is the question you’ll never know.But don’t give up just yet!Things will not always be like this.Yes, today seems hopeless.Tomorrow seems worse.One more day of hearing another hateful word.Might make your head explode,And sometimes you want to drive yourself completely off the road.And crash.Bu
You are someone's reason to liveShe had skin like a cactus-believing shecould only hurtanyone who gottoo close,forgetting thatinside,she held whatpeople neededmost.
You have to know pain to....Sometimes you have to fall apart.You have to bleed out,In order to have the courage to shout.Against the darkness.You have to know what it's like,To feel disconnected,Separated.From reality.To be best friends with your anxiety,Because it's the only thing to keep you company.Because you've never felt so lonely.Even though you're surrounded in a sea of noise,Which drowns out your voice.As you choke,On society's nooseYou're afraid to cut it loose.Because you don't know what others will think of you.You have to know depression.You have to know what it's like to be alone.You have to know what it's like to be silenced.In order to appreciate breathing,And to fall in love with colors.After being blind,For all of that time.And only being able to see memories,On rewind.In order to appreciate a person's presence.And the feeling,Of content.When you finally find a friend.Who will stick with you until the end.And not judge you for your scars.But loves who you are.In
Infinitepart ii.I locked you in my closet,in the recesses of my mind.I kept you in the dark, I kept you in the stagnant, static,strangling air for what seemed likeyears because you couldn'tremember what day looked like anymore.(You would sit facing the wall,scratching letters into the paint,nails curling and cracking upward.You wrote"I love you,I love you,I love you," over and over untilyou would bleed from your eyesbecause you couldn'tkeep them open anymore.That paint was toxic.Wasteland.You fed off the fumes of driedpolymer and you were so sure thatif you tried hard enoughthe words would go throughto me.)It must've taken months.The world traveled around the sunlike you traveled around me,hovering from a distanceso that I wouldn't burn you.They all say that it was mygravity that pulled youtoward me, but it was always you,you,you.part i.They say love is blind and I believe it.But we didn't start outloving each other like we do now.Frien
i want to be wholeI am pale and to myself I am unkind.God! I want to fly away leaving this sorrow behind.Or may be burn it forever and throw it's ashes in the running water.No comparisons with anyone and no lack... I just want to be whole.